I keep thinking of new ways to describe my autism.
Ways my brain keeps processing it and analysing patterns, trying to think of metaphors and analogies... kind of an autistic thing I do, funny it analyses itself.
Anyway... I thought of this earlier...
My brain is water.
My thoughts are water.
Every little thing is a ripple in that water.
The feeling of the keys on this keyboard, the itches I get from the jumper I'm wearing. The cold I'm feeling in the tips of my fingers.
The sounds of the outside. The sounds of the game of GTA5. The sounds of that screeching car as it just went past.
Everything causes ripples.
These ripples do not dispel easily.
Like water in a box, they slush around and amplify. Constructively interfere with each other and in themselves make more ripples.
These are rippling around my head and making it hard to see the target of my thoughts. The object I'm trying to focus on. Attempting to do so adds frustration, and more ripples and the cycle continues.
The solution, of course, is to calm my head down. Let the ripples settle. Yet if I do that, often, the object of my attention can be lost in the process. As something else under those ripples that wasn't being looked at is brought forward and focused on. This can quite often bring the problem back.
It's an annoying process when I know there's something I should be doing but my brain is a mess and it's fighting against itself to do anything.
If it gets bad.. I will have a seizure. Whilst these are minor seizures nowadays, they leave me with a headache (a migraine in reality but I'm so used to them I just call them headaches now). Which compounds the problem.
Analysing and trying to recognise the problem before it gets bad... well out-of-control... I guess that's the only thing I can do.
Recognition? I guess I can only say that's why I'm writing this post...
Meow
Ways my brain keeps processing it and analysing patterns, trying to think of metaphors and analogies... kind of an autistic thing I do, funny it analyses itself.
Anyway... I thought of this earlier...
My brain is water.
My thoughts are water.
Every little thing is a ripple in that water.
The feeling of the keys on this keyboard, the itches I get from the jumper I'm wearing. The cold I'm feeling in the tips of my fingers.
The sounds of the outside. The sounds of the game of GTA5. The sounds of that screeching car as it just went past.
Everything causes ripples.
These ripples do not dispel easily.
Like water in a box, they slush around and amplify. Constructively interfere with each other and in themselves make more ripples.
These are rippling around my head and making it hard to see the target of my thoughts. The object I'm trying to focus on. Attempting to do so adds frustration, and more ripples and the cycle continues.
The solution, of course, is to calm my head down. Let the ripples settle. Yet if I do that, often, the object of my attention can be lost in the process. As something else under those ripples that wasn't being looked at is brought forward and focused on. This can quite often bring the problem back.
It's an annoying process when I know there's something I should be doing but my brain is a mess and it's fighting against itself to do anything.
If it gets bad.. I will have a seizure. Whilst these are minor seizures nowadays, they leave me with a headache (a migraine in reality but I'm so used to them I just call them headaches now). Which compounds the problem.
Analysing and trying to recognise the problem before it gets bad... well out-of-control... I guess that's the only thing I can do.
Recognition? I guess I can only say that's why I'm writing this post...
Meow
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