Since I met you...

How long?

I found my love for her again

I didn't realise it, through the depression of the last few months.

Miku. Hatsune Miku. My love, you saved me from it again.

Media ruining people's lives?

This story made me realise something when the original was reported on the local news

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-27390908

They said they can't name the boy involved for "legal reasons" but yet the following story they can

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-27392172

Eclipse - you piece of garbage

Eclipse - the IDE - why do we use it?

So you want an Integrated Development Environment?

You don't want to spend any money?

You want something simple or you're doing Java development?

Hey you want Eclipse right?

Go on, it's G R E A T . .. . .. . .. h o n e s t

...

...

So it's a few months later....

You've had a few crashes....

You've put up with them...

You've seen the bugs in the Eclipse Bugzilla https://bugs.eclipse.org/bugs/

To be honest I've seen them, I think they do all their development sat next to the servers with a 1GB connection. Because I have no end of trouble trying to update, trying to get plugins all sorts. Takes forever.

Also, another favourite, the constant "refreshing workspace" and constant deadlock while it is building or validating HTML. It's kinda useless, given how rubbish those validators are. I write some fairly complex JavaScript and HTML5, none have ever validated by Eclipse, but my code is very valid. And jquery.min.js - don't make me laugh.

I am not submitting a bug every time it hangs on a thread. Give us the god damn ability to kill, actually actively kill, the hung thread, kill the 'refreshing workspace' or the 'validating HTML' process that's hung. 

I don't care if you think it's unsafe to kill a thread. I have to kill the whole program. It's far more unsafe to "kill -9" the whole of Eclipse than it is to kill a single thread.

So, I have to restart Eclipse, it's not reset it back to how it was before I even started work...

.... can I now bill Eclipse for all the work lost? Oh no wait, Licence agreement. What about when we actually ask you to implement a feature but you just immediately set it to "Won't fix"? Plenty of people have asked for it but you just refuse. Typical open source "We like it how we've got it"... not wait it's the "**** off and live it with." licence agreement.

I nearly lost it today, when for no good reason, Eclipse just started refreshing the workspace, in the middle of a lengthy debugging session and it just hung. I had to kill it all, and it took the server with it. I was rather ****** off. I wanted to have a discussion with the person who marked the bug on bugzilla as "Won't fix".

Note to Self : Friidump - it doesn't work in 64-bit

Hey future self...

Just dumping a memory to Google and Google+ in the hope if I ever search for this it'll be high up there.

Remember when you used friidump and it didn't work? It compiled, but immediately died? You then spent 2-3 hours rebuilding a machine because you thought it was the hardware?

It wasn't. It was because it doesn't work in 64-bit. You remembered you'd gone through all this before of course, but only after the rebuild. You remembered you'd got it to compile in 32-bit before and got it working. But only after 4 hours of tearing apart a decent machine to build a fairly poor one.

Now you've got to rebuild that good machine and see if that SATA->IDE interface works with the drive now and the the software works in 32-bit mode just to check it was purely a software thing. Just to check.

So. How to fix it, just in case you lose the fix again?

Well... it's a TODO as you write this you aren't in the right place to get the actual code.

Add the 32-bit libraries with apt-get...

Get cmake add the -m32 flags to the C and C++ and Linker options to change the architecture to 32-bit mode befire running cmake in the BUILD directory and it will all work.

This may help others too. but like I say... this is a "Note to Self" ^_^

"The dangers of the Internet"

"The dangers of the Internet" an inquest decides.

The depression is returning...

I broke a bowl...

The sign above the sink "Now their wask, put them away." A gentle reminder, as it says, to put them away. Too many times I have to remind him. But it worked a couple of times.

Today, a hard day. I had to hand wash a t-shirt. Coming home, I go to the sink, again, a few pots left behind. I can do without this. Putting away the pots, exhausted again, I drop a bowl. Annoyed, I quietly take the shattered remains to his bedroom, it's about 18:15, already in his bed, placing the remains, silently placing them beside him I leave.

Now back at the sink, he has finally joined me, asking what they are.

"It was only one plate"... hmm, I left him a broken bowl, how was there just one plate..?

"No, there was 2 cups, 2 plates and 2 bowls... and if there was just one plate, why wasn't it f*cking put away?".

"I forgot". Yeah, again. (Sorry, I'm paraphrasing, I'm tired remember).


He's left now.


On with my shirt...


Thoughts start entering my head...

"
This is getting too much. I'm getting pissed off with this.

Every day. I come home exhausted. I just wanted to wash a t-shirt. I just wanted access to the sink without having to clear off the side. Like I said, if it was so fucking easy why wasn't it already done?

My love, Miku. I've been happy, you've made me happy, for nearly 5 months now. I'd be happier with you.
....
wait
....
where did that come from?
....
there's only one way that's happening (I'm not going into the metaphysics of my beliefs in this interplay with my psyche here - have a guess what's required - what I was feeling, what I was thinking)
....
not felt that kind of thought for.... well.... a long time
"

At which point I just about collapsed at the sink.

I've got over the thoughts now, but even replaying them is hard.

All this for a broken bowl.