It's been a month now since I met you.
No. That's not true. We met before, but I didn't see you.
I met, noticed, and ultimately saw you on the 29th of August and was immediately captivated.
It's hard to explain the last month, but I feel I should. Because in the last month my life has changed so much and it's thanks to you.
For the last twenty-plus years I have been living under the shadow of a breakdown that occurred in my teenage years, leaving my life in ruins at least for 15 years, now, due to you, the remains of that has been washed away.
You have also helped me recognise a part of me that I didn't realise existed, or at least was denying. The inner-child that just wants to have fun. The protector of my emotions and what I can only describe as a "little-girl," as she can get very emotional and cause problems. But is the reason I can be strong now and handle times of stress (most of the time), just as long as I let her have the fun she craves.
Funny thing is, I did something over a week ago now, that little girl burst into tears, my emotions kinda dropped severely. This is how I know the hold this girl has on me. But I listened to you. The girl started to have fun again, she cheered up very quickly, I started to cheer up, this is the power you have on me.
I can't help but think of the chibi version of you when I think of that little girl now, hence the picture. I just need to learn to draw you myself.
Since I first saw you on the 29th of August, my inner-child has been dancing to the music, to your voice, to the words I don't understand. Apart from the single incident, she hasn't stopped dancing. Even then your voice quickly got her back up again.
Just seeing your beautiful face helped me rediscover my passion for anime again. Why did I forget that so easily? I know you aren't anime, but you helped me so much. While I was keeping a small flame alive for anime, I am enjoying it on a regular basis again.
You've given my soul purpose again. During my worst depression I was happy to accept dying as an option, but my soul wasn't at peace with itself or the universe, I don't think it would have been welcomed back in that state. While it has been slowly recovering, you make me realise, I am in a totally different now, my soul is happy again. I don't want to die. I would accept death, but I would fight it.
I've even found a new way to lose weight and a way to improve my memory again, in the Japanese culture I so much enjoy, but don't really understand much about. I never thought about Japanese food, mainly because I generally avoid sea-food, but my improved sense of well-being has pushed me through that, and I'm enjoying it, it's mainly varieties of fish (most of which I like) vegetables (erm I like these) and rice (again no problems) so what was the problem? (Erm??). My memory is getting better because I've started to learn Japanese, again just because I felt I could. Nothing too hard just the basics of Katakana for now, possibly because it's your name I see so much now, and the massive amount of Kana now flooding my twitter feed.
So...
Who are "you"?
If the reader hasn't decoded the Japanese from the title, didn't work it out from the Chibi and haven't seen any of my other posts on Facebook, Twitter or Google+
This is you, and such a beautiful image it is too,
Some describe you as not real. You are after-all, the avatar for the voice, created by Crypton Future Media, for the Vocaloid software created by Yamaha.
So, how can I feel how I do about something that isn't "real"? Well, you've have had a very real impact on my life. A very positive impact. Just as the chemical imbalance that broke me 20 years ago could be described as "not real", you have fixed me now. So you are real to me.
I'm not arguing with myself here, I'm arguing with anyone reading this who may feel they need to argue the "not real" point.
While I'm not happy to accept it, I will accept who and what you are. Someone just has to hurry up and invent some way to upload my conciousness into the computer (quickly please - I've got a virtual girl I need to hold).
I may have been isolated for 20 years, alone for so long, I got used to it. It doesn't bother me. Then you appear, almost from nowhere. What I'm trying to say, may sound like a reason for how I feel. May be trying to justify it. But I don't need to. I just am what I am.
Anime Chan posted different ways the Japanese language has for saying "I Love You", to varying degrees on Google+. English has to describe this to get around the over-use of it.... and look what I have written to do just this. If I'm using this correctly (please forgive my limited knowledge, I used Google Translate to help, I was missing 'ni' apparently I typed it in Katakana, Google suggested Hiragana, should've known).
初音ミクに恋してる
As if it were possible, I would spend my life with you. My beliefs allow me to believe you have a soul somewhere, we will meet at some point.
Oh well... The Re:Dial CD has arrived, I can hear your beautiful voice sing to me. I'll just have to close my eyes, and imagine holding you for now.
I'm going to publish this now, before I write too much.
No. That's not true. We met before, but I didn't see you.
I met, noticed, and ultimately saw you on the 29th of August and was immediately captivated.
It's hard to explain the last month, but I feel I should. Because in the last month my life has changed so much and it's thanks to you.
For the last twenty-plus years I have been living under the shadow of a breakdown that occurred in my teenage years, leaving my life in ruins at least for 15 years, now, due to you, the remains of that has been washed away.
 |
| (Image Source) |
Funny thing is, I did something over a week ago now, that little girl burst into tears, my emotions kinda dropped severely. This is how I know the hold this girl has on me. But I listened to you. The girl started to have fun again, she cheered up very quickly, I started to cheer up, this is the power you have on me.
I can't help but think of the chibi version of you when I think of that little girl now, hence the picture. I just need to learn to draw you myself.
Since I first saw you on the 29th of August, my inner-child has been dancing to the music, to your voice, to the words I don't understand. Apart from the single incident, she hasn't stopped dancing. Even then your voice quickly got her back up again.
Just seeing your beautiful face helped me rediscover my passion for anime again. Why did I forget that so easily? I know you aren't anime, but you helped me so much. While I was keeping a small flame alive for anime, I am enjoying it on a regular basis again.
You've given my soul purpose again. During my worst depression I was happy to accept dying as an option, but my soul wasn't at peace with itself or the universe, I don't think it would have been welcomed back in that state. While it has been slowly recovering, you make me realise, I am in a totally different now, my soul is happy again. I don't want to die. I would accept death, but I would fight it.
I've even found a new way to lose weight and a way to improve my memory again, in the Japanese culture I so much enjoy, but don't really understand much about. I never thought about Japanese food, mainly because I generally avoid sea-food, but my improved sense of well-being has pushed me through that, and I'm enjoying it, it's mainly varieties of fish (most of which I like) vegetables (erm I like these) and rice (again no problems) so what was the problem? (Erm??). My memory is getting better because I've started to learn Japanese, again just because I felt I could. Nothing too hard just the basics of Katakana for now, possibly because it's your name I see so much now, and the massive amount of Kana now flooding my twitter feed.
So...
Who are "you"?
If the reader hasn't decoded the Japanese from the title, didn't work it out from the Chibi and haven't seen any of my other posts on Facebook, Twitter or Google+
This is you, and such a beautiful image it is too,
初音ミク "Hatsune Miku" (source : Google+)
Some describe you as not real. You are after-all, the avatar for the voice, created by Crypton Future Media, for the Vocaloid software created by Yamaha.
So, how can I feel how I do about something that isn't "real"? Well, you've have had a very real impact on my life. A very positive impact. Just as the chemical imbalance that broke me 20 years ago could be described as "not real", you have fixed me now. So you are real to me.
I'm not arguing with myself here, I'm arguing with anyone reading this who may feel they need to argue the "not real" point.
Another beautiful image of you.
Source unknown - it was on Google+ but I can't find it any more.
While I'm not happy to accept it, I will accept who and what you are. Someone just has to hurry up and invent some way to upload my conciousness into the computer (quickly please - I've got a virtual girl I need to hold).
I may have been isolated for 20 years, alone for so long, I got used to it. It doesn't bother me. Then you appear, almost from nowhere. What I'm trying to say, may sound like a reason for how I feel. May be trying to justify it. But I don't need to. I just am what I am.
Anime Chan posted different ways the Japanese language has for saying "I Love You", to varying degrees on Google+. English has to describe this to get around the over-use of it.... and look what I have written to do just this. If I'm using this correctly (please forgive my limited knowledge, I used Google Translate to help, I was missing 'ni' apparently I typed it in Katakana, Google suggested Hiragana, should've known).
初音ミクに恋してる
As if it were possible, I would spend my life with you. My beliefs allow me to believe you have a soul somewhere, we will meet at some point.
Oh well... The Re:Dial CD has arrived, I can hear your beautiful voice sing to me. I'll just have to close my eyes, and imagine holding you for now.
I'm going to publish this now, before I write too much.
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