2018

So 2018.. eh?

Psychological Metaphors

My brain likes to come up with metaphors to explain the mental state it's in.

The NHS dicking around with my mental health & gender identity

A few months ago I came out as transgender.

I started taking HRT. I didn't know what I was doing. It caused a DVT in my right leg.

My Transgender nature - trying to work it out

I think I have to write this as I have trouble understanding it myself. It helps write it down, even if no one reads it.

It may not be accurate tomorrow, but for now this is how my mind is thinking. It's fairly accurate on how I've thinking for the past week.

The major problem with trying to understand this over the years is how fragmented all this has become. My emotional memories are severely damaged. They are very limited and are essentially just the odd feeling from an indeterminate period around a rough time, sometimes with an actual memory.

TL;DR; My journey seems to have been a slow progression of satisfying an inner part of me that has been constantly nagging. This has been there since I was in my early teens, maybe before. It is very possible it was silenced by the major depression I suffered at that time and has been trying to get out since then, and only been released slowly since then. Every little thing I have been doing a slight release into the open. Until the recent final acknowledgement.

Sexual identity

This is quite hard for me to write.

Personality disorders

Just going through the definitions of the personality disorders and trying to work out which effect me the most...